Week 24 Journey On

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Twenty Four weeks…!  Holy Cow!  That’s some bit of time!  I’ve been working the Master Keys for 24 weeks now.  It’s been long.  It’s been hard!  It’s been rewarding and confusing, exciting and frustrating!  Such a bevy of emotions.  Yet each one of them worth it.  I’m by no means finished with this Journey.  I know the actual guided lessons are ending but the real work begins now.  What can I continue on my own?  What more can I accomplish?  What more of me is there yet to discover?

The answer?!  A LOT!  A WHOLE LOT!  I’ve only just begun!  I know that!  I accept that even!  Actually, I’m glad I’ve only just begun because I know I’ve come far but I also recognize that there is still so much farther for me to go.  I’m not overwhelmed with that idea.  I relish the Journey in a good way.  It’s not like I think that I’ll never get there.  Because I know that I will.  I get glimpses of the final me and she is in there.  She’s a bit frightened and timid to come out.  But she’s getting closer everyday.  I’m proud and excited by what I’ve been able to accomplish so far but I’m even more excited for the work ahead.

A ton of stuff has happened around me over these 24 weeks.  I’m glad I’ve had this course to keep me busy and keep me focused on figuring out what I really want because it’s easy to get SUCKED into the drama that goes on around you and easy to lose sight of what you want.  I’ve been “forced” to think about what I want on a daily basis and I’m glad to have had that at this time in my life.  So many people get caught up in the little stuff that goes on in life and it makes them lose sight of what they truly wanted in life, of what they were truly capable of getting out of or putting into life.  I know.  I can speak from experience.  Before you know it ten years have gone by and you look back and realize that you’ve been going through the motions for a DECADE.

Are you kidding me?  Are you one of those people?  Don’t despair.  You can change. The first step is awareness.  And if you’ve just become aware then GOOD for you!  Go back to my first blog from week one and begin reading.  Go find out what this Master Key  system is all about.  You’ll love it.

Today, I was driving in the car, (if you’ve been following me you’ll realize I get a lot of thought done in the car), and I heard an old song by the BEE GEES and it made me think:

How Deep is your Love

‘Cause we’re living in a world of fools
Breaking us down when they all should let us be

This is a love song…but I thought about how it can be a love song about yourself…you and the real you…the you that you long to be.  Why is it that people see other people doing well or working on being a better person and they want to bring you down?  Why is that?  It’s like society wants everyone to be miserable.  I don’t want to be miserable! I have been miserable.  And I have bouts with misery daily right now, but I don’t plan on wallowing in the misery like a pig in mud.  I want and strive for the dry dirt on the other side.  I see it.  I can almost feel it.  I know I can get to it…and I Will.

Right now I am on this Journey to become the Hero in my own life.  This is a Journey that most of us are faced with in life.  Many are unaware that it has been placed before them.  Many choose not to begin the journey and just stare at it like a ship leaving shore without them.  I’m not standing on the shore staring at a ship that’s left without me.  I’m on the ship, I’m making the journey.  At times I get caught in storms and get tossed about, up and down and swirling around.  It gets tough at times and sometimes the wind drops out of my sails and I wallow and float in a standstill of time…searching for understanding and deeper meaning, looking for the answers to questions that I hold deep in my soul.  And then as understanding comes….the breeze picks up and the wind fills my sails and I’m off again to the next leg of the journey, seeking to learn more during the next leg of the Journey.

I’m not sure how long this Journey will last or if it will ever end.  I can’t even begin to explain to you what this course has done for me.  Putting an experience like this into words can never do it justice.  I do know that I learn so much more everyday.  I understand so much more everyday and I long to share it with you all.  I’m getting to know the real me…she comes and goes in bits and pieces right now and sometimes she doesn’t stay long.  But soon she’ll trust me enough to come out of hiding and into the light…and maybe then she’ll even realize that she was the light all along and that so many have been waiting to see the beauty of her soul and let the shine in their lives.

If you see her, be kind, be gentle.  Let her know it’s ok…she longs to hear from you and to shut the door on darkness forever.

Soon she will shine on…

Watch your eyes!

Week 23 Listen hear Subby

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Here we are at week 23 and I used to feel like I came so far since the beginnig. But this week and the last few weeks I feel like it’s a struggle. I feel like I’m backsliding. So much is going on right now.  My head is very busy.  I know that I’m letting the Old Blueprint have too much say, too much influence.  It’s been a struggle to concentrate on the new when the Old is screaming so loudly.  I try to quiet it but it keeps rearing its ugly head.  Things continue going on around me that I have to control over, yet the old me still wants to try to grab control.  I know I can’t get control, yet that doesn’t seem to stop me from trying.

I can see myself at the fork in the road…

Option one:  take the journey to the new

or

Option two:  continue on the same path.  The same path, worn, yet familiar.  I know what to expect.  I’ve done it before.  I can do it some more.

Who am I kidding?  It’s a path I really can’t bear to continue on.  I just can’t.  Yet there is a bit of me that is paralyzed…not exactly with fear but with…I don’t know.  I just don’t know!  I feel the hesitation, though.  I don’t want to hesitate.  Yet my subby is telling me to wait here for a bit.  I’m not sure if I have more things to work through that I will need to make the Hero’s Journey or if I’m putting it off.  I know that I’m going to do it.  I want to go through it. And I will. I know it’s going to be hard.  But I also know that it is going to be soooooo worth it.  I know I deserve what’s on the other side.  I deserve to be the real me.  The me that I’ve always intended to be.  To do that I am going to have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable for a time.  What I’m doing now isn’t exactly comfortable.  It’s just a bit more familiar than the unknown.  And frankly, it feels AWFUL!  I don’t want to feel AWFUL!  I don’t want to be weighed down with negative feelings.

On a conscious level, I know so much.  Intellectually, I know what I deserve.  I know who I am but subby hasn’t seemed to get the message yet.  Or if it does it has ADHD or something.  It’s letting old programming take charge.  And at the most inoppertune times.  Like REALLY!  What are you thinking SUBBY?  You need a dope slap!  You need an attitude adjustment.  You need to cut this OUT, NOW!  Do you hear me?  Excuse me?!  I said Do you hear me?   You will listen to me.  You will focus, you will concentrate and you will build the life that you want.  It will be your most important task!  , (aside from breathing and autonomic bodily functions necessary to sustain me of course…please don’t forget those)!  But we owe this to me!  To WE!  We owe it to the world, me playing small is not serving anyone.

We have some serious work still yet to accomplish.  We have a lot to do!  But we can, should and will do this.  What was it we were reading this month in our scroll?  Oh, right…

“I will be master of my emotions”  -Og Mandino  The Greatest Salesman in the World

I have been reading this and reading this and rereading this and I’ve known that I need to internalize it, yet again, I have been toying with paralysis on this one.  I kind of liked being a slave to my emotions.  It’s like they say:  watching a trainwreck.  You just can’t seem to stop watching.  I’ve been a mini trainwreck, well maybe a medium trainwreck for a little while.  And I’ve just been watching myself do it.  But I tell you now.  I share with you…I will be master of my emotions.  It won’t happen overnight.  But I promise you I will spend more of my day mastering my emotions from this moment on.   No longer will I be a slave to circumstance.  You hear me subby?  You listen to me for a while!  And when you finally understand and commit this to our new way of life then I ‘ll let you work on your own again in this regard.  But only after you learn the new way of life.

We, you and I subby, have a Journey to continue on so let’s pay attention, concentrate and get to it!

And the journey continues…

Week 22A The Journey Continues

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Change is inevitable it is said.  True.  I guess.  But Change can happen all around you or happen to you.  There is a big difference.  Some people cling to the person they’ve always been.  Sure we all have great qualities that we would never want to lose but to always be, do, act and think the same means that we never GROW.  This course has been all about growth.  Recognizing that we have the power to effect Growth in ourselves is an amazing concept to consider.  Most people think things happen to you and you either learn from them and grow or they cripple you and you shrink. In the Master Key we are taught that we can affect what happens around us.  We are taught that all that is happening in your outer world is a result of your inner thinking.  The world within eventually manifests into the world without and we are responsible for what that looks like.

I have to take responsibility for what my outer world looks like.  I caused it. I’m living with that now.  And I have been for a while.  I am trying to change it.

Change happens when you affect change.  It’s thought and perspective combined with action.  Currently, I am on the Hero’s Journey portion of the Master Key and I feel a little bit stuck in my travels.  I feel as though I am still in the same place of the Journey  that I was on weeks ago and that I should be moving along.  However, I realize it is the thoughts that I have within me that are causing me to stay “stuck” in this portion of my travels.  I know that I am dwelling on what is going on around me.  I know that I am focusing on the things that are wrong in my life.  I know that I am letting other people’s actions affect my happiness.  Intellectually I know that I can’t change another’s habits.  I cannot change another’s thoughts.  I cannot change another’s actions.  That isn’t stopping me from dwelling on how it is affecting my life.  I know that I want to get past this.  I know that I want to move on. I know that I have to take responsibility for my own happiness yet something is holding me in this place.  Must be that I have a lesson to learn here and I’m not letting the lesson come through.  That’s the only thing I can think of.  I can feel good for a little while and change my thoughts to happiness and then BAM! it hits again.

I don’t want to continue to feel this way but I am also trying to respect the process.

SILENCE…we were supposed to try to take some time for SILENCE this week.  The most I could manage was about two hours.  I yearn to take more time for myself.  To take more time to just be.

I feel like I am on the edge of an abyss with a tightrope in front of me.  There’s only one way across and falling is not an option.  I’ll have to take it one step at a time.  I’ll have to plan out my steps and let the subby take over.  I’ll have to focus on the task at hand and see myself reaching the other side.  I can’t look down.  I can’t look back.  The only way is forward.  The end of the rope is where stable ground lies.  It’s where the world opens up again and spreads out before me.

This journey is difficult at times but I choose to continue on because I desperately want to be on the other side.  The me I’m supposed to be is waiting there.  She’s missed me terribly and I have missed her.  Somehow we got separated a long time ago.  And for a time I forgot who she was.  It’s like she was erased from my memory.  As this course began I began to get glimpses of her.  Then I received flashbacks to our old memories.  I feel her calling my name now.  I hear her.  Her voice gets louder daily and I yearn to finish my journey to reunite with her.  I can’t rush it though.  I’ve got to take the journey and complete it less I get sidetracked and lose my way to her.

We’ve waited a long time to meet again.  We certainly can wait a while longer.  When we do meet it will be beautiful.  It will be sweet. It will be amazing.  Lord knows I miss her but I wont’ rush our meeting til the time is right.

See you soon sweetheart.  I’m on my way…

Week 22 Anger and Patience

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Whether I set out to do it or not this week has brought me to an exercise in PATIENCE!

Funny how you get what you need.

We’ve all heard the sayings:

Patience is a virtue.

All in good time.

Horace (65-8 BC)

At the bottom of patience one finds heaven.

Kanuri (West African) (on patience)

Good things come to those who wait.

Haste makes waste.

One step at a time.

There are so many of these little sayings.  In short you need to be patient.  That doesn’t mean sit around and wait for stuff.   It means put in the work, keep the right frame of mind and the right things will happen.

Again, it’s been a fun, and by that I mean interesting, trying, up and down,  week .  I’ve been presented numerous times with the option to give in to my old blueprint and react in anger.  I’ve done it a couple times but I have recovered quickly.  I’m not perfect, I’m a work in progess. Some of the cement is a bit harder to remove to reveal my true self but it’s happening.  Progress is good and I’m headed in the right direction for me.

So while I’ve been presented with things that try my patience this week I’ve been able to use patience as a tool to curb my anger.  It’s actually quite freeing.  Knowing that I can choose to be patient instead of angry.  I can choose to experience patience instead of wallowing in anger.  I’m really glad I have this course to help me work on my self as I go through this Journey.  Mark and Davene said this type of experience would happen and I couldn’t understand how.  But being a part of this course puts you in the right frame of mind to work stuff out in your head.  It’s amazing, emotionally challenging and freeing all at the same time.

I choose to continue the journey.   I choose to be the heroine of my own story.  I choose.

You choose too.  Did you know that?

Good or bad.  Happy or sad.  You choose.  

Want to know how you can change your life for the better, how you can be the you that’s waiting to be?  Join this course the next time it comes up.  Experience the Master key for yourself.  You deserve it.  You are worth it.

Do it NOW!

 

 

 

Week 21 Land of Confusion 

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Where to begin this week?

OMG…it’s been a week of tears as lots of truths become evident.  My head is spinning and I’m not sure which way is up.

It’s been an emotional week.  I didn’t expect this.  I didn’t plan it.  It has been a bit overwhelming.   I’m coming through but it’s going to be a process.  It’s going to be a big part of my journey.

You can’t control what always happens to you at all times but you can control how you REACT!  I know this yet I am using the emotions to get to a deeper understanding of myself…of my life.

We talked this week about using tools.  My emotions have been my tools this week…I’ve got a huge toolbox full of them and I’ve been pulling out ones I haven’t used in FOREVER.  I’ve been happy, sad, angry, overwhelmed, elated, pained, resentful, depressed, shocked, dismayed, mournful, etc.

Just when you think that this whole Master key Experience is a done deal. A piece of cake, in the bag WHAM!  More stuff starts going on with you.  With your brain.  The subby is commanded by the conscious so that the conscious can eventually let subby take over.  I feel like there is a bit of a power struggle going on with the two right  now.  The Old Blueprint is fighting the DMP and I’m trying to keep the progress going forward.

I’m not worried about which will win because in the end I win.  As I continue to do the work things will sort themselves out in the right in one with the Universal Mind.   It’s about the Journey and its a helluva ride.  Whoa! I’m holdin’ on!

However, that being said I feel as if I’m in the Land of Confusion right now, though.

 

For those of you that are my age you might remember the song by Genesis from the 80s.  I’ve got that tune on my head as I try to sort out the mess.  I’m not actively trying to sort things I’m using my sit and letting the subby work things out.  But it’s going to take time.  The Truth will become apparent.  I’ll be the me I was supposed to be.   It’s a given.  It’s coming.  Sometimes it’s hard to wait, hard to trust in the process. Yet I trust.  I trust in the Truth.

I’ve been questioning my DMP. Does my Definite Major Propose reflect the Truth of what I really want?  Am I daydreaming, wishing, or manifesting? Has it been tainted or limited by what I think might be possible or does it reflect my true heart’s desire? Am I in tune with the Universal Mind? These emotions that are hurtling through me are going to help me bring Truth to light.  I know it!  

Through the Rollercoaster ride this week  I’ve held on and continued doing the work.   It’s been extremely difficult with the range of emotions this week but I have persevered.  And I’ve felt better as I’m doing the work.   It’s given me something to take my mind off of what I’m going through and focus on growth and coming through this journey on a side that will help me live my life more in Truth with me!

I continue the journey and look forward to the rest of the experience.

Come along.

 

 

Week 20 The Star of the Show

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I just found out some interesting information that I never gave any thought to before.  Maybe you never did though either.  I was listening to the radio today and heard a song I’ve heard, most likely, 100 times before.  And today it took on meaning.  It wasn’t just words and a catchy tune.  It became more this time.

It’s funny how perspective can change in a blink of an eye and then you can’t remember what your old perspective was.  Once my mind was clued into this new thought, this new idea, this honest truth I couldn’t stop thinking and applying it to what I had believed to be true.  Suddenly, it dawned on me.  Like the words of the song say:

“….you don’t even know
That you are, you are, you are the star of the show”

—Thomas Rhett

Funny thing is…I didn’t know.  Those words finally hit some magical center of my brain or my being and took on meaning.  I had no idea that I was the STAR of my own show.  Oh, I guess I had clues because you hear it all the time.

Your life is what you make  it.

You choose how you react to situations.

You have to love yourself.

You can’t please everyone so you’ve got to please yourself…I think that one is from another song…OOOH thank you Google!  Ricky Nelson  Garden Party that’s where that one came from.  Sorry, I digress.

I have been living as though I needed to make everyone else’s story nice, happy, sweet or as they wanted.  I haven’t been living for me.  I have been “living” my life trying not to upset other people.  Trying to anticipate what would upset them and making sure that didn’t happen.  As I result I stopped writing my own story.  I wasn’t even a supporting “actor” in their story.  I was playing a minor role in their story.  I was one step above the cutting room floor.

Now I know it’s my show and I’m the STAR!

Did you know that you are the author of your story?  You are the STAR of your show.

So let me ask you a question:  Would others be bored if they were watching your life as if it were a show?  Would they tune out?  Would the ratings be nil?  Would the show be canceled?  Would the writers be forced to change the story line?

Do you really want the story of your life to be as it is now?  You have the ability to make the show anything you want.  You are the STAR of the show.  It’s your show.  You write it.  Sure things go on around you.  There are other characters and situations that involve you.  But you are the STAR of your show.  You have the ability to write the story.  You can change the story line.  You can reinvent the main character…YOU!  You hold the pen.  You control the spotlight.

I was pretty amazed when I started to think of all the possibilities.  You can write characters out of your show that just don’t cut it.  Bad viewer feedback on toxic people in your life…write them out of your story.  Finding yourself feeling overwhelmed with situations and events…write yourself a vacation, take your story to an exotic location…it doesn’t have to be a physical vacation or location.  Take your sit and imagine the ideal location for you, the ideal events, smells, sights, feelings. It can be all yours.  You are the STAR of the show.  The STAR always has say in the outcome.

Big STARS carry the show.  You are the BIG STAR of your show.  Nobody can live your life for you.  Nobody can change your life for you.  You have to take charge.  Have you been letting your light dim?   Well, dust that bulb off and shine bright!  You’ve got millions more hours left in you.  Don’t let the light go out before you finish writing your story, before living your show!

I will remember this forever.  I will start living this way.  I am the STAR!  I deserve the best! I am WORTHY!  And, so are you!  Your story needs a STAR.  Don’t let someone else be the STAR of your show!  Remember there is

“No better you than the you that you are!”

Alessia Cara – 

Nobody does you better than YOU!  Nobody does me better than ME!

Let’s go be the STAR of our own shows.

Others will think its worth watching!

Go on!

Do it!

Week 19 Fear

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Here we are another week has passed and I’m here blogging again…

Still can’t believe I’m blogging.  Sharing my thoughts.  Putting all this out there for anyone to read.  Putting this out there for you to read. You’ve stumbled across this blog somehow. Welcome!

Deep Breath!

But Here I am!  I’ve been blessed with another day.  So glad for that because I have a lot of stuff to figure out, work through, concrete to chip off!

I’m excited to be continuing this process, this quest, this journey.  I know the beginning of this post started out kind of humdrum and quite boring and seemed as though my heart wasn’t in it.  But, OH  MY HEART is ALL the way in it!

I have felt the energy building all week.  This week more than more recent weeks.  Something big is brewing.  I don’t know what exactly is coming.  I know the ultimate end goals but I don’t have to know every step of the journey along the way.  That’s the beauty of the Master Key!  We just have to believe that it will happen.  Now it does take more than that…we have to work, focus, concentrate, feed our mind and think.  But once you get used to doing that it’s tough to go back and subsist in your old blueprint.

The Fear of the unknown isn’t my companion anymore.  I was afraid to blog.  I had never done it.  I was afraid to make the commitment to this course.  I wanted to but I was afraid it was going to be a lot of work.  Not just actual reading and writing but thinking work!  Work on me.  Working on my thoughts.  That can be pretty fearful.

Now the excitement in what will be is my companion! I go around telling myself I’m so excited all the time.  Well, I don’t really tell myself because that would sound like I don’t believe it.  I more than believe it if that’s possible.  I actually share the excitement with myself constantly.  I’m pretty excited just writing this. Hard to share that but I am!

If you fear the unknown it’s probably because you haven’t been concentrating on what you want.  You’ve been focusing on the wrong thing.  FEAR is WORRY.  WORRY is useless.  It steals your today and darkens your tomorrow.  It takes away the present so its no longer a GIFT.  You can’t let FEAR control you.    You have to focus on the GREATNESS in YOU, THE AWE in the world.  When you focus on that it’s impossible to feel fear.  SMILE…you can’t be full of FEAR and smile…it just isn’t possible.   Do something to combat your FEAR.  FEAR is only possible up to a certain point.  It’s like tomorrow ..after you get to it it doesn’t exist anymore.  It turns into something else called the PRESENT.

A little while ago I was trying to come up with a new acronym for FEAR.  None of the one’s I have seen seemed to work for me.  I tossed some ideas around in my head and out popped this one:

                          Faith energizes, Action re-energizes.

What do you think?

I find that when you have faith you can’t be fearful.  Having faith energizes you.  Acting on that faith re-energizes you.  If you just had faith and acted on that faith you might see that FEAR just poof!   DISAPPEARS!

It has for me!  I can’t wait for what is coming!  I know part of what I am so excited about is watching the rest of the concrete chip off me and revealing the real me that I’ve buried for so long.  The me that I have denied for so long.  The me that has always come last because I let it.

Do you let you come last?  The real you?  Do you bury it?  Do you long for things you can’t explain?  Do you live your life or do you just endure?  You were meant for more than that.  I know I was meant for more than that.

The Universe has bigger things in store for me.  I’m up for the challenge.  I’m up for the work it will take to get there.

Are you ready?

FEAR no more!

Watch out world!   Here I come…

My Journey continues…the self-discovery widens.

Stay tuned…